Barneys can lick my foam. Hangin 10 dude… Fingers that is. My keys are my stick and my screen is the most epic soup nug materialized from the spirit of Bodhi Slater…. hey what’s this?
Pre-click Assumption:
This one is easy. You’re going to die and you’ll be lucky to get to sign 3… or possibly:
- Your socks are way too goddam small
- Your rat-monkey has escaped from your half/ass dog carrier
- You’re having your neighbor position himself in between your spread eagle to take a picture of your lower leg or
- Shit! All you are is a leg, your body’s gone dude and your heart with it. Duuude….
Pre-click Research:
- We called Dr. TJ Eckleburg and asked if any of our assumptions maybe correct.
- Though he stated that wearing really tight socks is stupid, he was concerned about the rat-monkey on the loose and if it had possibly been involved with the rape of tree monkeys by plague-ridden rats – If bitten by one of the rat-monkeys, one could very well die of a heart attack.
Post-click Finding:
- Drumroll…………………….ITS NOT SNAKE OIL. ITS FISH OIL!! But get this – it’s fish oil harvested from wild-caught Menhaden and then distilled via nanotechnology to create the ultra-refined, highly-purified source of Omega-3
Disappointment Level (1L – 10H):
- Give it a 6. We were pretty interested to find out if we were going to die… And our final vision on this planet being a picture of a guy’s leg that wears industrial grade bungee cord mini-socks. Turds
– Greg the Scientist
RussianGoat 